Why the “F” [Flip] do I Run?

Why the “F” [Flip] do I Run?

This is something I’ve been pondering recently, and I figured I would put down my thoughts and share them.

Fun-

I run because exploring trails, accomplishing big climbs, seeing beautiful sunrises and sunsets, bombing descents, and feeling accomplished is way fun!

This is part of my running that is displayed on social media. It is the highlight of the experience but is a false reality. In most cases, these are rewards for a difficult effort. A price was paid but this side isn’t shown as much. It is tedious, not glamorous, and boring.

Fight-

“You have to fight to reach your dream. You have to sacrifice and work hard for it”. -Lionel Messi

I have found that things are far less appreciated when they come easy. There is so much satisfaction and growth that comes from working towards something and achieving it. That could range from completing a run early in the morning, a summit, a time goal, or a training plan leading up to a race.

Fitness-

I workout to stay in shape. I am very grateful I have been blessed with an athletic body that allows me to do what I do. It isn’t just running specific fitness either. Though on the scrawny side, I am tan and toned when I go the beach. I do have some funny tan lines though from my running shorts and shirts.

Fantasy-

It is literally running away from my problems. Sometimes I get overwhelmed or upset and just need to disconnect and running does that for me. This is my “fix” that helps with stress and anxiety. It helps me escape and take a break from things that are bothering me and weighting me down.

Fame-

This one is something I know isn’t healthy but nonetheless it is a motivation right now and I’m working on it. I struggle with a lot of self-doubt and seek external things to find validation. This comes in the form of setting new CRs on Strava and likes/views on Instagram. I feel that if others see me and think I am special and great then I must be.

I know that this is only superficial and true validation must come from within. Otherwise, no amount of fame and praise will ever be enough, and I will still feel empty.

Fear-

With the desire to get attention from my running comes fear of not being good enough. Seeing others’ accomplishments or successes makes me jealous and afraid of them being better than me. This motivates me to work harder, do more, and keep going.

Finding myself-

This is how I came up with the URL for my blog and handle on Instagram. Running isn’t just about running from my problems, but it helps me find solutions to my problems. Countless times I have gone on run and learned something about myself, life, and/or religion. There are so many distractions in the world we live in and being able to get away from it all and be in a place where I can think and learn is wonderful. I have had many neat experiences with this. Sometimes I write them down but sometimes I don’t. I should do a better job about recording them.