After a fun adventure with Ked in the morning, I headed back up north and kept going, all the way to Logan. My parents invited me and Jon to go kayaking in Logan Canyon. They rented 2 kayaks and a canoe from USU and met us there with them in the back of their truck.
Laurel and Kade took the canoe and Jon and I took the kayaks. We had a lot of fun just going around exploring in the slow moving water. There was a dam that backed the water up and made a nice little area to play around in. On the end opposite the dam were two bridges, one for cars and the other for people walking. Jon and I eyed the foot bridge. I gave him a mischievous smile. It was pretty low but looked like there was just enough clearance to go under it. He knew I wanted to do it and wasn't going to stop me. As I was pulling my kayak out of the water my parents showed up. They asked what I was up to and I sheepishly told them. They know me and weren't even surprised. What surprised me is that they actually encouraged it. They offered to take Jon and I up the canyon and put in where the river was running a lot faster and was churning with rapids. We both got out and loaded the kayaks in the back of the truck.
My dad took us up the canyon about a mile and we found a spot we could put it. When we got out to check out the water, Jon and I looked at each other wide eyed. The river was a raging beast! It looked super sketchy but we decided to go for it. We got the kayaks to the bank and positioned them so we could control when we launched. We looked at each other again, this time with fear. For one, the way this river was running it would require someone with a lot of experience to be able to take it on. Jon and I didn't even have much experience with water sports, period. For two, we didn't even have the right kind of kayak or equipment. To say the least, we were way out of our league.
I pumped myself up and volunteered to go first. We wished each other good luck and said goodbye. It was more of just a kind gesture and jokingly said "don't die". It was about to get real. I summoned my inner adrenaline junkie and went for it with whooping and hollering to psych myself up. The water was moving so fast! I tried to steer myself with my paddle and it was futile. The river was in control. I was thrown about as I crashed into the white churning water and was swept downstream. I tried to avoid the branches that stretched out across river but even that was pointless. I put my hands up but they still clobbered me. I was at the mercy of the river and it wasn't very merciful. It was punishing. I hit a couple more branches and all the while managing to stay upright on my kayak. I was still trying to psych myself up by shouting but the fear was starting to win out. There was no way I was going to be able to keep this up. Just then I quickly approached another huge set of branches which I tried to avoid but this time I got hung up on it for a split second and then was in the water, my kayak overturned. I reached out for it and held on to the bottom of my kayak. I tried to flip it over but that wasn't going to happen. I held on for a few more seconds thinking I might be able to take on the river this way but there was no way that would be possible. I pushed off of it and desperately tried to get to the shore. I was able to grab a hold of some roots on the side but the river pushed me with such force I didn't think I could hold on. I was totally focused on getting out, and using my arms and legs in combination to fight against the current, I pulled myself out. As soon as I got out of the water my thoughts immediately turned to Jon. I was so worried he had followed me and was going to get the same beating I just went through or worse. I ran up along the river looking through the brush and trees trying to see him. Nothing. I kept running and made it all the way to where we had put in. He was there. I was so grateful and relieved to see him there. He was safe. To say he was relieved to see me too would be an understatement. We stood there for a second and just took in what just happened. That was so stupid! What were we thinking? Jon thought I had died. It hadn't really hit me until then that I had just come so close to death. I really could have died. That thought hadn't crossed my mind until then. My risk assessment had been seriously clouded. I had only thought that failure would be falling off my kayak and getting carried down the river in the water. Boy, did I underestimate the power of the river. I did not respect it and it almost cost me big time. Jon was wise and after having second thoughts and pulled out of the river before it could carry him off.
After that we decided we were good and were going to call it a day. We traded the kayaks for the canoe and took it easy. It was relaxing and calming just cruising around and not fearing for our lives. It was a lot of fun but it was almost cut short by tragedy. Just like that it all could have changed. Jon and I talked about it and it really had a big impact. Zac Zimmerman, a wasatch mountain wrangler, had passed away this morning on a trail run in Bell Canyon. He slipped and fell to his death. He was an experienced trail runner and just one simple mistake ended it all. Jon and I were hit pretty hard because our experience could have had the same result. It really wakes you up and makes you feel grateful you get a chance to learn from your mistake and carry on. Zac doesn't get that change. He left behind a wife and three young children. I feel so bad for them. They are going to miss him so much. It really hit home. I can have fun and adventure but I have to be better about calculating risk and not doing anything that could jeopardize my life. I have a family to take care of. I have a purpose on this earth and I can't fulfill it if I am dead. It is amazing just how fragile life can be. We are so tough and resilient but in the blink of an eye it all can come to an end. Today my heart is heavy with reflection, gratitude, and sorrow for Zac and his family.
